dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
