No stitches, just platelets and will power
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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