so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
