He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
