What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I came so hard my ears popped.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
