So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
