we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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