How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
