He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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