So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
