I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize