she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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