we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
