Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
