are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
