In the future we'll all be gay
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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