omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize