Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
