I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
