its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
