I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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