Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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