I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
