Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
