This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
