Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
