im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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