so that wasnt chicken after all
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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