I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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