Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
