UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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