hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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