You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
