Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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