PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
