I need help removing her.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
