Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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