when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
