we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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