There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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