Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize