She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
