He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize