garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
