My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
