Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
