I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
