If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
