Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
