before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
