Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
