my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
