I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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