you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
