yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Randomize
