Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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