just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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