Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
