Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
