Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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