So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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