so explain again why im purple
no
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
