Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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