I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
