no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize