the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
