Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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