how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
